A hotel guest calls the front desk
A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, “May I help you sir?
The man says, “Yes, I’m in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately.
I’m having an argument with my wife and she says she’s going to jump out of the window.”
The desk clerk says, “I’m sorry sir, but that’s a personal matter.”
The man replies, “Listen, you idiot.
The window won’t open.. and that’s clearly a maintenance issue.”
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The husband has a scratch on his chest
The husband comes home and worried because he has a scratch on his chest caused by a fingernail from his mistress,
opens the door seeing the cat asleep on the couch, gives him a tremendous kick.
The cat “screams” a loud meow and runs out the door.
The wife comes in the living room and asks what happened and he angrily replied:
“This cat seems crazy, I was walking in and, just like that, he jumped on me and scratched me in the chest.”
“Look at that hell of a scratch!”
The woman replied:
You did very well, today this fool has bitten my a***s and gave me one hell of a hickey on my neck.
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I have a tattoo
There is a woman sitting with a bunch of guys at a bar. The guys were all showing off their tattoos and uttering sexist remarks as to how women cannot take enough pain to get a tattoo.
After listening to the guys gloat for a little bit longer, the woman states, “Well, I have a tattoo, too!”
The men all look surprised.
The woman continues, “I have a tattoo of a cute little gray mouse in a rather private place. Do you want to see my tattoo?”
The guys are getting excited as the crowd starts gathering around the woman.
Without much ado, the woman stands up, undoes her pants and drops them. She then looks down, looks kind of confused, and gives the men a wimpish smile.
One of the men asks, “What’s wrong, sweet lady?”
The woman, with a big smile on her face, answers,
“Oh, nothing, I can’t show you my little mouse tattoo after all. My pussy must have eaten it.”
